The Hidden Costs of EHCP Application*

*So far (** I should add, this post refers to a child with more “hidden” difficulties – she has no obvious medical needs or learning difficulties, nor a flashing light above her head to say she needs help. I know the struggle is very real for parents with children with more obvious needs, but I […]

Dog, Ice, Gravity and Pain

In January, dog, ice, road and gravity conspired against me, and I took a hefty fall. Skinned the heel of my hand, bad graze (and some deeper tissue damage) to my knee, and heaven alone knows what I did to my shoulder. On the day, it was hand, hip, and knee that hurt. In that […]

I wish

I wish I could say it will be alright. But it won’t. I wish I could say that the fight will stop. But I can’t. I wish I could tell you how to do it. Keep the mask strong. And the bucket full. And all the cliches full of meaning. But masks slip, And buckets […]

Home is Where I Hang My Heart

I used to think home could be a suitcase. Because I had to believe that, I guess. I used to think home was a shelf of black and white photos. Or spring-cleaning. I used to think home was keeping all the people that lived there happy. (A live-in au pair job did not help this […]

Embers (A Poem)

I carry these embers, This birth, or death; What was, or could yet be.   I carry these embers, This hope unborn; Lost dream forlorn.   I carry these embers, A dim journey To ash or light.   I carry these embers, Inbetween-ness And unknown choice.   I carry these embers, And on, and on, […]

The Boy with the Headache

Once upon a time, there lived a boy who felt like he always had a headache. He couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t have a headache. He lived in a cold, snowy country, and sometimes he would go outside, and catch snowflakes with his tongue, and dance in the snowstorm, coming in cold and […]

The things he does (a poem)

He answers her questions, The same ones every day. A million questions, A million smiles. He walks with Furry Tail, Even when Furry Tail objects. And plays the Furry Tail game. Stops Furry barks. He fixes pens and tries food, Expands his wide-eyed wonder. Reminds me that heartache and hope Walk hand in hand. He […]

The Curse of Should

New Year’s Eve. Of course I should write one of two things: A. A piece reflecting on the year that has been. Lessons learned, dreams fulfilled and all that jazz. Or B. An optimistic future thinking piece about the coming year. How this time I really am going to do the thing, whatever the thing […]

Broken and Christmas

For the last ten years, my Christmases have been bittersweet. Or maybe they have just been grown up, sprinkled with the disappointments of unmet expectations, dashed hopes and unfulfilled dreams. I have always felt that somehow I was doing something wrong that I ended up feeling this way. Even on days where I actually got […]

Overthinking Breakfast

As I type this, I’m nose deep in a bowl of steaming microwave oats made with almond milk. We have precisely three different types of breakfast in this house – chocolate based for Little Person, bran based for The Dude and porridge for me. I eat porridge all year round, unless there’s a heatwave. I […]