This is not good-bye. I will come back. Less frequently now, and for different reasons.
You helped me to make sense of some very difficult times in my life. Together we have watched dreams die, skated around the edge of depression, and grieved for so many lost opportunities. Together, we remembered what is most important in life, and that it sometimes doesn’t look the way we think it should. You helped me find my voice. You helped me have the courage to use my voice. And so it’s bittersweet that I won’t be around much for a little bit.
Because I am editing the novel, you see. And editing, it’s a different sort of writing. As I look through my first draft, I see so many times when I just wrote it as little blog posts one after the other. The problem is, it doesn’t flow then. So it’s difficult to commit to this kind of writing and that kind of writing. Sometimes you have to make a choice.
But knowing me, I will still pop back from time to time. Something will happen and I will have to write about it. Always does.
But I don’t want to write a blog because I should write a blog. I don’t want to write about marriage (which is hard, but also rewarding), or parenting (which is hard, but also rewarding), or having a special needs child (which is hard, but also rewarding). I don’t need this outlet for my creativity – I knit socks, and crochet blankets, and am even starting to design patterns and teach other people to crochet (never thought that would happen). And I have real live people to talk to, who listen, and accept me. Some of them even believe in me.
So much has changed in a short time, and I have to concentrate on other things for now. But I will be back. Don’t you worry. I will definitely be back.