I am not a prolific blog reader, but I probably spend at least 30-60 minutes reading blogs every day. And you can tell the ones that have a distinct message, and the ones that are just “putting it all out there”. I vacillate between these two camps. My life has underlying themes, and my over-analytical ways colours my perceptions, so sometimes it feels like yes, I have a message. But then, I have cats, and who doesn’t love writing about cats?
But as the year draws to a close, and I find myself pondering the reasons I do the things I do, the places and spaces that occupy my time and my thoughts, I find myself asking different questions. Questions I can’t answer.
Do I blog better when I have a message? Or does the message get in the way of my chatty style and easy flow? (I think my follow-up question may be answering my initial question.) Why do I blog? Does it even matter why I blog? Should I try to blog better, or differently? Is this a stupid thing, a dangerous thing, to write my thoughts out into the ether, when I carry a heart that is so easily moved? Should I compare myself to other bloggers? (No. There is no point.) Am I making a difference at all? (Yes. I made somebody cry once. Maybe. But does that count?) Does all this stuff I write, about purpose, and passion, and stories, actually help anybody, or am I only adding to the noise and confusion?
Like I said, questions. I don’t shy away from these questions. I don’t think they represent a crisis of confidence, or weakness, or any kind of problem. I think it is good to stop and ask yourself questions. When you build things, you always check the reality against the plans. Sometimes you have to re-do the actual thing you’re building, but sometimes you have to revise your plans. And sometimes, you find that everything is working out just the way it was supposed to. But you never know until you check.
Of course, that analogy falls flat in the case of this blog. I didn’t plan to write mostly about life lessons and a bit about cats. I just want to know if I should do it differently, or if I should stop with the daft questions and just write, or if I never had a message, and only thought I did.
Yeah, I know, I’m over-analysing again. Did I tell you what happened with the cat?