Of course I’m a leader – it’s in my job title, so it must be true. I’ve worked hard to get here, you know. I’ve been leading in one form or another for what, 20 years now? I don’t have to justify myself to you. But there’s more to it than the job title.
For one thing, I read books. And I tell other people to read books. I even tell them what books to read. And maybe one day I will write a book of my own. Because when I tell people to do things, they do them. And it’s not just because I’m the boss. And it’s not just politics, or people pleasing. I’m a leader. I know when people are doing things just because that’s what’s expected of them. I just know.
Besides, isn’t that my job? As a leader I mean. I’m supposed to be telling people what’s expected of them. What to do. What to think. How to be. Who to be. And you might say that all I’m doing is creating a bunch of sycophants and yes-men, but it’s not my fault people are so keen to obey. It’s just the way that they are.
But it is much easier that way. I mean, without the difficult people. You know the ones – the messy people who won’t fit in our boxes, who ask awkward questions. Those people are nothing but troublemakers. And a leader knows how to deal with troublemakers. I know how to deal with troublemakers. I tell them they are not welcome. And we are so much better for it. By we, I mean all of us, not just me (but most especially me). We wouldn’t want the troublemakers spreading their awkward, questioning ways.
Don’t get me wrong, questions are good. But they have to be the right questions. Approved, so to speak. That’s why I like telling people what to do, what to think. Then they never think to ask their own questions. They only ask mine. I’m a leader, you see.
What about the troublemakers, you ask? So that’s what this is about. You’re one of them. You’re not really interesting in me being a leader at all. I think this interview is over.