The Dude knows I am not good at asking for help. I like to have a really good go at doing it myself first. A really good go. To the point of unreasonableness. (Except tea. And cleaning up. I really don’t mind asking for cups of tea or help with cleaning up.)
Not only that, but when I ask for help, I am not always that good at doing the asking. The Dude reckons I don’t do tone particularly well (he may have a teeny tiny point there). But more importantly, by the time I am willing to ask for help, to admit that actually I can’t do this thing on my own, be it coping with depression or tidying the upstairs room, I am so tired and beyond myself that my pleas for assistance can hardly be considered coherent. And when people say “what can I do to help?”, I just want to say “can’t you just read my mind and do that.”
Or is that just me? Just me then.
It’s so easy to say if you need help just ask. But what if the asking is the difficult thing? What if the tiredness and the weight of the problem are so big you can’t even see that there are people wanting to help?
Sometimes, you can just offer a specific action. Bring food, wash dishes, or whatever seems obviously necessary to you.
I have tried that approach in helping people. Looking at the situation and asking what I can bring to it that will make it better. Sometimes it is leek and potato soup but more frequently, it is my time. Sometimes, it’s even my talents.
My current projects are keeping me busy so I might not be here that often for a while. I’m trying to help people with organising information and systems to aid with the displaced person* crisis in Europe and beyond. But in the spirit of trying to improve my asking for help skills, I know that there is a great deal of donations being collected in the UK but storage and transport to where they are needed is a problem.
So if you can help with that, contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org.
*I use the term displaced persons to avoid that whole migrant/refugee debate. People in need are still people in need. Not my place to judge.