Letter To An Outsider

Dear Outsider,

I think there’s been a misunderstanding .  I suppose that must happen to you quite frequently. I guess telling you that doesn’t help. I guess reminding you that you will always be an outsider doesn’t help either. Maybe it’s just we all spend so much time with the insiders that we forget what it is like to be an outsider. 

The truth is, you’re our Outsider – sparkly, bright, willing and hands on. Saying things everybody is thinking and nobody wants to say. Sometimes those things need to be said, sometimes they don’t. Truth is, we wouldn’t want you to be any less yourself. We never wanted to dim your sparkle that brightens our day. We want you to be an inside-outsider. We don’t know if that’s a thing. But if anyone can make it a thing, you can .  

You will always be an outsider, but that is a point of strength, not weakness. Most of the time. Except when we forget that you are an outsider. When we forget you have been bruised and battered by a million battles when people you called friends abandoned you … because you were not an insider. When we forget that you don’t just act differently, but you think differently. When words that are just words to us cut deep, and we can’t see you bleeding . 

We’re sorry that we forgot. We’re sorry that we reminded you that you are an outsider,  but forgot to say that you are still one of us. Still important. Still valued not just for what you do, but because you are here. Because you stayed. We know we are not making it easy.

Can we try again? Can you be our sparkly Outsider?  And we will be your determined insiders? Do you think we can learn to talk about things, difficult things, without fireworks and explosions and heartbreak? Can you show us how you listen, with our hearts open and willing to be wrong? Can we show you how the inside works?

We love you. Never forget that we love you. 

The Insiders


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