I’m not done yet

There are so many failures littering these past few years, if that’s the way I look at it.

I have wasted a perfectly good brain and excellent grades in university by not finding a PhD. Instead I am the carer for my ASD diagnosed Little Person. 

I have not mastered the art of housework. Instead I have acquired a dog who contributes to the need for housework.  

I have developed a not insignificant anxiety problem to hang alongside my dusty old depression issue. The anxiety affects my life more significantly than the depression but that’s neither here nor there. I  don’t medicate for either of these. Apart from chocolate.  (If you have a mental health issue, visit your GP. I would medicate if I could.)

Did I mention I haven’t got a clue on the whole parenting an ASD kid thing? It was my greatest fear when I was pregnant. And now it’s my reality. There. I said it. 

But I’m not done yet. Because even with the anxiety and the ASD and the knowledge that no matter how much I try I will never live up to my dreams, I wake up in the morning and I keep trying. 

Last week, keep trying meant I slept on the sofa for an hour and a half before the school run. 

Today, it means squeezing in  half an hour on my novel because through it all I need to keep writing. 

So failures come and failures go but I keep keeping on. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s