Little Limpet (A Poem)

I found this poem in a notebook I recently started using again – it’s dated September 2017, and the description is probably more true now than it ever was. Little Limpet Little Limpet, I know you love me. Squeezed up next to me so I feel every breath, Hear every tummy gurgle, Know without knowing […]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“Come on, just give him a little cuddle. Oh look, that’s such a lovely picture. Do you want to look?” They didn’t. They were two young boys, and all they really wanted was to eat their lunch. But then the other mother (because this was two mothers and their boys in a softplay place, and […]

Faith, Autism and Halloween

I come from a country with sangomas (witchdoctors), where people still put curses on their enemies, and young men drink warm goat’s blood as part of their teenage circumcision rites. I grew up first Baptist, and then Pentecostal (and now I attend my local C of E). I believe in a spiritual realm, in God […]

When An Autism Diagnosis Is A Good Thing

The day we got Little Person’s diagnosis, I was a shredded pulp of melted ice cream. I was unsure about what it all meant, guilt ridden for dragging her through all these hoops only to get what? A label that would limit her. A badge to point out all the things she could not do. […]

The Star That Stayed

She came home from school  with a silver star on her jumper, hidden under her coat until Granny spotted it. “Oh! What’s that for?” I was going to say that we never get a sensible answer to that question, except she piped up. “Miss Smith gave it to me. For sitting up straight and helping.” […]

When Are Special Needs Special Enough?

Little Person dances on the edge of that whole special needs thing. Her tantrums are like a brilliant fireworks display – loud and blazing out of nowhere, and disappeared in a flash. Absolutely 100% heartfelt, and when she’s upset like that, touching her only makes the whole thing worse. So I stand and watch for […]

What Life With Little Person Has Taught Me

Little Person has an atypical development. She’s a big fan of numbers, and maps, and dinosaurs. She interprets language very literally, doesn’t really talk much, and a few other anomalous things. The point is, I have watched this unfold, becoming more and more aware of the problems and potential problems, and I have got myself […]

We must not talk about Zac

Zac is not a person. Zac is the child I never had, and never will have. Most days, I don’t think about him, most days he doesn’t have a name. But these have been a rough few months, and today… Today was a day I wanted to do well, and didn’t. Today was also a […]