I am never going to brilliant at small talk, never going to ever be totally over my social anxiety. Never going to glide through my days seamlessly knowing exactly what is next on my agenda. Never going to be able to rely on my brain not to get distracted in the middle of something Really […]
When I was going through the diagnostic process, I was asked whether I was still in contact with any of my school friends. My response was something along the lines of “why would I be?” Apparently other people don’t put their friendships into categories. 🤷 When you’re an adult, especially an adult in your 30s […]
At first it’s like a buzzing fly, darting about your head, the quiet “what if” as soon as your other thoughts quieten. Then maybe it’s an itch, and you can’t quite scratch it. Or every time you do, it moves a little and you’re chasing your tail. A shifting, elusive something. What if? Or maybe […]
I have never been particularly good with compliments. But I particularly dislike the kind of well-meaning “compliment” that actually isn’t. Specifically, when people find out I am autistic and proclaim with great confidence that I don’t look autistic. Of course most of those conversations happened prior to lockdown, and I only received my diagnosis in […]
Hello! My name is Rox’s Autism. She takes me wherever she goes. Sometimes she wears me like a big prickly coat, and sometimes she carries me as a giant fist of fear in her tummy. For the longest time, she called me by lots of different names – non-conformist, quirky, not too loud, no spicy […]
Feelings are a tricky business. You think you know what they’re going to do in a given situation, but they can be a little unpredictable. Like the weather for your soul. I had the final part of my autism assessment on Saturday. There’s a questionnaire bit I had to do with a different professional in […]
Four years ago, back when I was just weird and permanently frustrated with myself or other people, rather than probably autistic, I participated in a CrochetAlong. This is where you buy a kit of yarns in different colours and then week by week, the pattern that goes with the kit is released. The idea is […]
“Parents of autistic kids don’t listen to the perspective of autistic adults” is a common complaint I see on Twitter. Apparently, parents tend to say Terrible Things like “I know my child best” and “your autism is different to their autism”. And then autistic people get upset because, technically, there is something about the lived […]
We live in a society that tells us that if we try hard enough, believe and work hard enough, anything is possible. We can make our dreams come true through sheer bloody-mindedness. It’s not true. I come from a version of the Christian faith that gave me the sense that if I did everything right, […]
Since lockdown began I have pretty much been making 3 different lunches every day. Not So Little Person has a mixture of fruit, salad stuff, maybe cheese or salami, arranged in neat little piles on a plate (or occasionally in the shape of an alien invasion or other such nonsense because well, this is me […]
Roxical Thinking 